J E N N I F E R  .  R A L E I G H  .  S C H W A R T Z

lately i’ve been spending a lot of time 

alone it’s left me to remember small

reasons that needed remembering.

i am no longer looking for you,

or for you, or for you or you.

instead i am now looking for nothing

and for myself and in the spaces left

 

empty there will be so much else

i am not sure this is the best way

but i do know to continue remembering

to continue releasing the tension felt

while walking, all trees lined up no longer

feel like a leash they are all there, now free,

now somber, always beautiful, wind or snow

 

i no longer need strength ; to fall can be enough

i thought of you in spring, and 

of you in summer, i thought

of you in the fall now i wonder

of whom i will think of as winter comes

maybe it will be of myself and only of that

i will fall into nothing

 

and maybe i will keep falling

i will fall and fall and fall

into all the reasons i become.